I marvel about how much I don’t know about myself. A few weeks ago I was in a group meeting to help evaluate someone for a role. I said to everyone, “Our job isn’t to be hard on this person; it’s to give a good evaluation. This isn’t “The Shark Tank”. Everyone nodded; it seemed like I made a good and helpful point. Score one for me.
I Do What I Don’t Want to Do
Later on in the day, after one evaluative exercise, someone broke the ice. They said, “What’s your problem today? You looked so angry.” Others chimed in, “Yeah, you lacked eye contact. Your body language was defensive. You were anything but friendly.” Hmmm…I was portraying the exact opposite of what I had encouraged others to be. It’s reminiscent of the Apostle Paul’s self-indictment, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15).
It’s ironic. While I was participating in an exercise to evaluate someone else, everyone was also evaluating me. I said, “Wow. That’s helpful to hear. I need to know more about how I come across.” There are times in my life when I’m defensive when it comes to feedback. Thankfully, in this case I was open to hearing from others. So, I’m doing some self-evaluation these days.
We use a tool in GiANT called “Know Yourself to Lead Yourself”. It’s an infinity loop (meaning it’s a life-long journey that never ends.) We have natural trends, and some behaviors that come from our life experiences. Our trends become patterns that lead to behaviors and consequences. If we keep learning and learning we’ll steward these days well.
You’re invited to join me on a year-long venture toward leadership transformation.
Details and sign up here or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.