(This is Part 2 of The Coach in Your Head series. Read Part 1 here.)
Last time I covered the idea of Self-Talk to help overcome the tendency many of us have toward self-domination. This time, I’m writing about Self-Care. First, a quote from one of my CORE Group members:
“Self-care is the antidote to self-domination.”
What gives a person life?
In my work I regularly lead online cohorts of people who are working on our mantra of “becoming leaders worth following.” Along the way we do a deep dive for each member on how they, personally, can stay emotionally healthy. It differs for each person according to their own hard-wiring, but with a little work we get to a place of finding out what really gives that person life.The member whose quote is listed above has been a life-long self-dominator. You can hear it in his words and see it in his nonverbal. He readily criticizes himself, battering himself for shortcomings. We all do some version of that. Pay attention to what people say, and often you’ll hear something like, “I’m harder on myself than I am on anyone else”.
What is Self-Care?
What do we mean by Self-Care? First, I’m happy to have a discussion with you to talk about your own uniqueness. Seriously, contact me here: firstname.lastname@example.org There are things about your own wiring which give us clues to how to keep you healthy. We call it “Type Dynamics”. So, contact me.
But the short version is this: Find out what lifts your spirits, and go there regularly. I’ll give you an example. My nature I am what is referred to as an “ENFJ”. Under extreme pressure I go to a place of introverted thinking that can turn into a swirl. Type Dynamics show me that I need to go to a place of extroverted feeling. For me that means I have to get out of my head. So I’ll begin each day (or each moment when I’m stuck, or self-dominating) by listening to music or something else that’s inspirational to get me out of the swirl.
You have your own unique formula. I’m happy to talk to you about it. The shorthand version is to be asking what it is that lifts your spirits, and to go there regularly. Self-Care is the antidote to self-domination.