(This is Part 3 of The Coach in Your Head series. Read Part 2 here.)
One huge favor you can do for yourself is to allow the coach in your head to help you peel away self-preservation. But you’ll have to talk yourself into it first. (Allow that to spin around for a minute or two.)
Are you like most people?
Here’s the deal. If you’re like most people, you have an innate bent toward protecting yourself. That can be good if it means you’re working to prevent injury or death, but it can also be a bad habit if it means that by protecting yourself you’re defensive, unwilling to be honest, or playing only for political gain. Check this out:
In GiANT Worldwide we help people and organizations come to places of health with visual tools that communicate quickly. The “Self-Preservation” tool portrays the three common hindrances to breakthrough. “What are you afraid of losing? What are you trying to hide? What are you trying to prove–and to whom?”
Alternatively, think of it this way: WHAT WOULD YOUR LEADERSHIP LOOK LIKE IF YOU HAD NOTHING TO FEAR, NOTHING TO HIDE, AND NOTHING TO PROVE? Hmmm… I bet it would be liberating.
Listen to the coach in your head
The coach in your head will be alerting you when you are self-preserving. You’ll have an internal dialog that will naturally caution you against complete honesty, or toward maintaining some sort of a facade. “Hold back…don’t be real…calibrate this carefully.” And when that happens, the coach in your head has to be ready to tell you it will be alright–in fact it will be better–when you push through to the other side. Say it out loud: “I don’t want to be self-preserving. Sorry, I don’t know the answer to that.” “I don’t want to self-preserve. I realized I was trying to impress you.” “I can see that I was trying to hide my weakness.”
And what is the result? Breakthrough. And, along with that, the esteem you have in the eyes of others will increase, as will your influence. People want to follow those who are secure, confident, and humble. Train the coach in your head to push you to that place of liberation.
“So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6).